Many of us deal with this by trying to repress our desire others use pornography as an outlet for exploring our desires while others explore their true desires and discover their true sexual selves. Those who do freely explore their desires seem to be shunned by society. This seems to be the case with my experience. Yes I lost my virginity in my late 20′s. Yes I was really into porn (I think at one time I could have had a PHD in pornography). Of course no matter how much porn I looked at and how many times I masturbated I still wanted to have sex: it really isn’t the same feeling. While throughout most of High School I did just go home, sleep, masturbate.