Many of us deal with this by trying to repress our desire others use pornography as an outlet for exploring our desires while others explore their true desires and discover their true sexual selves. Those who do freely explore their desires seem to be shunned by society. This seems to be the case with my experience. Yes I lost my virginity in my late 20′s. Yes I was really into porn (I think at one time I could have had a PHD in pornography). Of course no matter how much porn I looked at and how many times I masturbated I still wanted to have sex: it really isn’t the same feeling. While throughout most of High School I did just go home, sleep, masturbate.

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I am going to have to really have to disagree with your advice. Especially the porn part. I think there is something more going on here with late male virginity. You make a good argument about porn as well as technology. It is easy to see how a young or even not so young man could get caught up looking at porn, disassociate themselves with the rest of society and then not develop the proper social skills to be able to pick up women. This could be a possible answer except for one fact of life. Prostitution in most places, while illegal, is easily available. Prostitutes don’t require that you attract/charm/seduce them. They take your money and then if everything goes right you have sex with them. Prostitution is also relatively not that expensive. Where I live a prostitute cost less than the cost of a Wii, iphone, or even the better ipods. I would gander to say that some of these older virgins probably own such devices. I am sure that they could spring for a one time shot.

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So what is it that is stopping these guys from going and getting a prostitute? Legal issues? I really doubt that all of these guys are just upright citizens that are scared to cross the street. How many of these guys smoke marijuana or use some illicit drug? How many of these guys drank underage? How many of these guys download content illegally? Maybe they don’t want to catch a disease? Well if that is the case how would you ever coax them out into the bar/club? Sure that prostitute might have slept with tons of guys but most likely she demanded protection, that drunk girl at the bar at the end of the night might have slept with a lot less guys but might have been less discerning when it came to the use of condoms.

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I think that people who are of an age where it starts being abnormal to be a virgin and they haven’t lost it, a lot of times it’s because they don’t really WANT to have sex–for some reason they can’t admit it to themself. Getting to the bottom of why you don’t want to have sex (and fears of women or of being horrible at it are among them) is the only way you’re going to get past the REAL issue and start getting laid.

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Maybe it could be that they find the whole idea of prostitution immoral? Could be but I doubt that. I bet you that if you went online and looked at the older male virgin population you would find everything from the devoutly religious and male feminists to sexual libertarians and the downright misogynist. Personally I think the answer is more of an inner game issue. I would say that many of these individuals probably have issues reconciling their own sexual desires. For the most part we are taught to feel guilty for having desires and trying to follow our sexual desires by society. We are told that what we want is perverse and degrades women (that is if that is your inclination). We are taught by society how women should be treated and this is what society calls ‘respect.’ Society’s ‘respect’ for women is thus put in conflict with our carnal desires.

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